|
SEX
KID RULES HONEY
DO'S OUTLAWS
CONFLICT THEIR
FRIENDS MISC
* Email to
Someone
Relationship
and Life Coach
ARE YOU REALLY
ENTITLED TO HAVE THE RELATIONSHIP OF YOUR DREAMS?
I recently presented my workshop to a
group of single adults entitled, “10
Secrets of Relationship Fulfillment—how to know if you are ready for a
committed relationship, how to know if the person you are with is the RIGHT ONE
for you, and how to meet your ideal life partner.”
After revealing to the group the
secrets of relationship fulfillment and discussing how believing that you are
entitled to have the relationship you want without any effort on your part is a
relationship trap; I received some email from participants in the group.
Some stated that they received a low
score on the relationship readiness review and claimed that they wanted
to be ready for a committed relationship, to take action and to “work on
myself.” Some wondered if they were at a place where they could benefit from
taking my introductory 4-week relationship readiness class. I stressed the fact
that this class teaches people to become ready.
Wishing to be ready for a committed
relationship, and thinking that it will fall from the sky when you are not
ready will materialize neither a life partner nor a healthy relationship. If
a person runs from commitment and is unaware of a pattern that permeates all
his/her relationships, he/she will continue to do what he/she always does
(unconsciously) and get what he/she always gets.
If you are dishonest with yourself, can
you be honest with those you date about your relationship readiness status? If
we treat others with respect and let them know honestly that we are not ready
for involvement, and then jump into exclusive relationships with others, we are
giving others double messages. This will ultimately lead to relationship failure
again and again. We usually reap what we sow.
If we lie to our partners about our
lack of willingness to commit to a relationship based on our past fears or our
belief that there is always someone more exciting around the corner, how can we
expect others to treat us honestly and fairly? We will either attract the same
type of person over and over or will have to end the relationship when we meet
someone who is ready for commitment. Why not save all the time and trouble and
cut out the deception?
Date non-exclusively and have fun while
working on yourself and receiving relationship coaching to establish and keep
good boundaries in your non-exclusive relationships. This takes work and is
harder than it sounds. The temptation exists to have your cake and eat it, and
to become sexually involved without being emotionally ready.
Working with a coach can prevent messy
situations and help you date recreationally while not being dishonest, hurting
another person or wasting their time not to mention your own precious time when
you just want to have fun. When it’s no longer fun, then it’s time to end
the relationship.
Of course, if you find this approach
heartless or unacceptable, maybe you want to work to become ready for commitment
working with a relationship coach and
changing unfulfilling past relationship patterns that keep you feeling
“stuck.” You’ll learn to make wiser dating choices. You will also create a
life partner profile and design a relationship plan to manifest your ideal life
partner.
No one is entitled to have a fulfilling
relationship simply because one wants it. We have the kind of relationship we
deserve because we attract the kinds of people into our lives based on who we
are and where we are in terms of relationship readiness. If you want a certain
kind of relationship, try being a certain kind of person who has this type of
relationship. If you have financial, legal or other problems, are too busy with
work to have a relationship or are unhappy in your life or relationships, then
take the steps to change yourself. Clean up financial or legal problems. Seek
therapy if you are truly unhappy. Get career counseling and life coaching to
help you live the life you love as a single adult.
Can I guarantee that one 4-week class
will bring you to a state of bliss and total fulfillment? No, I can’t and
won’t make that claim. If you want a charlatan to sell you snake oil, I’m
not the one.
However, you will learn to focus
on what you need to make a relationship work for you, you will learn to manifest
the right person into your life and will learn how to live the life you love as
a single adult while forming a support community to scout for potential partners
for you as you do the same for them—all with the guidance and education from
your relationship coach. Is it really relationship insurance for singles?
YES!
Wishing you more fulfilling
relationships,
Deborah Bindler, LCSW
Certified Relationship Coach
Chicago, IL
(312) 458-9021
Counselor,
Counseling, Marriage, Family, Therapist, Therapy, psychologist, MPH, LPC, Phd, MAC,
MS, Social Worker, LMFT, NCC, M.A., LMSW, MSW, LMSW-AP, ACSW |
