Humorous Opposing Perspectives

These are meant to add some humor. They are not meant to offend.  They are taken from submissions from our readers. If you have something funny that you think should be added to this collection, please send to info@savvymale.com

Battle of the sexes humor

I never have quite figured out why the sexual urges of
men & women differ so much. And I never have figured out
the whole Mars & Venus thing. And, I never have figured
out why men think with their head and women with their
heart. And, I never yet have figured out how the sexual
desire gene gets thrown into a state of turmoil, when it
hears the words "I do."

 One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I just want you
to hold me." I said, "WHAT??" So she says the words that
I and every husband on the planet dreads. She explains
that I must not be in tune with her emotional needs as a
Woman. I'm thinking, "What was her first clue?" I
finally realize that nothing is going to happen that
night, so I went to sleep.

  The very next day the we went shopping at a big
unnamed department store... I walked around while she
tried on three very expensive outfits. She couldn't
decide which one to take, so I told her to take all
three of them. She then tells me that she wants matching
shoes worth $200 each to which I say OK. And then we go
to the Jewelry Dept. where she gets a set of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you ...she was so excited. She must
have thought that I was one wave short of a shipwreck,
but I don't think she cared. I think she was testing me
when she asked for a tennis bracelet because she doesn't
even play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I
told her that it was OK. She was almost sexually excited
from all of this and you should have seen her face when
she said, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cash
register." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted
out, "No, honey. I don't feel like buying all this stuff
now." You should have seen her face ... it went
completely blank. I then said, "Really honey! I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while." And just when
she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"You must not be in tune with my financial needs as a
Man."

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